Episode 1639
A LIFE JUST LIKE MINE Dr. Donna Kincheloe part 2
A LIFE JUST LIKE MINE
Dr. Donna Kincheloe part 2
Pastor Bob Thibodeau engages his audience in a profound discussion with Dr. Donna Kinchelo, focusing on the complex journey of healing from toxic relationships. The episode initiates with Dr. Kinchelo sharing her insights on the essential steps individuals must take to reconstruct their lives after such detrimental experiences. She emphasizes the significance of establishing emotional boundaries, illustrating how toxic interactions can deplete one's spiritual and emotional reserves. Throughout their conversation, they explore the delicate balance between love and self-preservation, particularly in the context of familial relationships that may cause spiritual turmoil. As they delve into the nuances of forgiveness and divine intervention, listeners are invited to reflect on their own paths to peace and the importance of nurturing their spiritual well-being amidst life's challenges.
Takeaways:
- Pastor Bob Thibodeau articulates the imperative of addressing personal healing after exiting toxic relationships, emphasizing the necessity of rebuilding one's life systematically and thoughtfully.
- Dr. Donna Kinchelo underscores the significance of emotional and spiritual well-being, likening it to a bank account that requires careful management of deposits and withdrawals from relationships.
- The discussion highlights the biblical precedent for establishing boundaries, with Dr. Kinchelo referencing instances where even Jesus set limits on relationships for the sake of spiritual health.
- Listeners are encouraged to recognize that their joy and peace should not be contingent on others' behaviors, advocating for self-preservation in the face of emotional depletion from toxic interactions.
- The episode stresses the importance of prayer and divine intervention in healing processes, suggesting that a reliance on God's promises can provide solace and hope during trying times.
- Finally, the conversation addresses the profound impact of Christian faith in overcoming personal challenges, illustrating how one's relationship with God can transform pain into purpose and peace.
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Email: Statnotes2005@yahoo.com
Email: drdonnakdnp@gmail.com
Website: https://www.walkthehalls.com
Book: ”A Life Just Like Mine: How God and Nursing Turned Past Pain into Present Peace” – on Amazon
Book: “I Never Walk the Halls Alone” – on Amazon
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Transcript
Welcome to the Kingdom Crossroads podcast with Pastor Bob Thibodeau.
Speaker A:Pastor Bob conducts personal interviews with Christian influencers from around the globe, helping Christian authors, recording artists, CEOs, entrepreneurs, non profit leaders, and yes, pastors and ministry leaders to get the word out about what they are doing to impact the world with the gospel.
Speaker A:Our podcast has been rated in the top 1/2% of all podcasts in the world by ListenNotes.com so you know your message will be heard.
Speaker A:Now here is your host with today's interview, Pastor Bob Thibodeau.
Speaker B:Hello, everyone everywhere.
Speaker B:Pastor Bob Thibodeau here.
Speaker B:Welcome to the Kingdom Crossroads podcast.
Speaker B:Today we're so blessed you're joining us for part two and the conclusion of great interview with Dr.
Speaker B:Donna Kinchelo, author of A Life Just Like Mine, How God and Nursing Turned Past Pain into Present Peace.
Speaker B:If you missed any of part one, you need to go back and catch up because we don't have time to go back and cover all that information again.
Speaker B:But it is fascinating and as I said at the close of yesterday's program or the preceding episode, if you're just catching with me right now, I've seen people and talk to people and experience myself, ptsd, some form or fashion.
Speaker B:Sometimes it's worse than other days.
Speaker B:It all depends on what triggers happen at that moment in time.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:And you know, she, in her nursing career, she's, she's seen it, she's experienced it, she's helped others get over it.
Speaker B:Now you need to just pay attention to what she's going to say today.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Because, you know, I don't have time to cover everything that we covered yesterday.
Speaker B:So go back and listen to that episode.
Speaker B:But, you know, she's gonna be talking today about, you know, people coming out of toxic relationships and learning how to rebuild their lives.
Speaker B:This is great information.
Speaker B:Pay attention and I'll see you on the other side.
Speaker B:You know, one of the biggest challenges for people that are coming out of these toxic relationships is learning how to basically rebuild their life.
Speaker B:What are some of the first steps someone can take to, to move towards that place of peace and healing?
Speaker C:Whenever I taught nursing, I would tell about our emotional and spiritual bank account.
Speaker C:Most everyone has a bank account.
Speaker C:You know, you'd rather have money in the bank than you would be bankrupt.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker C:And I would, I would tell students, one of the greatest things to know is you look at your schedule when you're a nurse and you say, oh, take a look at who I get to work with on Monday.
Speaker C:Oh, it's going to be a great day.
Speaker C:Lizzy is in charge.
Speaker C:She will help me.
Speaker C:Oh, and I get to work with her and her and him and oh, oh, it's going to be a great day.
Speaker C:Monday.
Speaker C:And then you look at Tuesday.
Speaker C:Oh, man, I got to work with that person.
Speaker C:Are you kidding me?
Speaker C:I think I'm feeling sick.
Speaker C:I'm going to call in.
Speaker C:I don't want to.
Speaker C:Why do we do that?
Speaker C:Because, you see, there are people who will place positive deposits in your spiritual and emotional bank account.
Speaker C:And then there are those who are toxic and they constantly withdraw from you.
Speaker C:And when they do, you are depleted and bankrupt.
Speaker C:Now, in Christianity, it is only recently that people have taken a look at the appropriate time to walk away.
Speaker C:And there is an excellent book, when to Walk Away.
Speaker C:I believe the author is Gary Thomas.
Speaker C:Amazing to think that Jesus walked away from people 44 times and when people walked away from Christ, he didn't chase them down.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker C:And right now there are many of us in families where I believe Satan is attacking family by adult children who do not abide by our Christian faith.
Speaker C:And it's ripping up the hearts of Christian parents and it is just creating what I call churn.
Speaker C:And it makes people churn and the joy of their salvation is evaporated.
Speaker C:And that is so sad to me because here's what I know.
Speaker C:If.
Speaker C:If we see that we love our father God and his Son and His Holy Spirit and our adult children take another path, it cannot take our joy of our salvation.
Speaker C:It cannot.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker C:They are saved.
Speaker C:Jesus saved them.
Speaker C:They may not be aware of it.
Speaker C:They may not have found that, ah, look at that, love.
Speaker C:But if he made Christian parents, if he made.
Speaker C:If he made me, your mom, you got my prayers and you got my DNA.
Speaker C:And I'm not giving up on you.
Speaker C:And I have no idea how far you may need to run away or how narcissistic you may want to be to me.
Speaker C:But there are times when, for your own health, you got to set the boundary and say, you can come this far and no further.
Speaker C:And God did the same thing to Satan.
Speaker C:You're not going to be in my heaven.
Speaker C:You're out of here.
Speaker C:And the same with the Lord Jesus.
Speaker C:People often don't like to think about Jesus setting a boundary.
Speaker C:You're not going to make my father's house a den of thief.
Speaker C:That's right, you are not.
Speaker C:And he had a limit and he had a boundary.
Speaker C:And sometimes as Christians, we think we have to be the ones who are always bending the knee and Asking for forgiveness.
Speaker C:I would like to say this.
Speaker C:There are times that what you are trying to ask forgiveness for isn't yours.
Speaker C:The sin does not belong to you.
Speaker C:It's not your place.
Speaker C:They have to do it.
Speaker C:We can do it for them.
Speaker C:We can pray that their hearts would be softened.
Speaker C:We can pray that their eyes would be open, that God would send someone.
Speaker C:Because sometimes it can't be us.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker C:But the reality is that we serve a loving God.
Speaker C:And the greatest piece of it, Pastor Bob, is this.
Speaker C:You get through narcissistic relationships by embracing God's inability.
Speaker C:How do you like that?
Speaker C:Do you know what I'm talking about?
Speaker B:As I say, explain that it is.
Speaker C:The best thing ever.
Speaker C:I love the Christian life.
Speaker C:I love my Jesus.
Speaker C:Because God can't lie.
Speaker C:It's not in his nature, which means every promise, every word in his scripture is blooming truth.
Speaker C:And we can't.
Speaker C:We can't.
Speaker C:We can't pull away from that.
Speaker C:If he said, ask me for anything, believe in, and I'll do it Now, I'm really bad about timing because, you know, nurses are geared to think and act.
Speaker C:I don't know if you've ever heard that term, human dynamics.
Speaker C:You can be a think, think, think, an actor, or you can be a thinking actor.
Speaker C:Well, nurses are thinking, act, think and act again.
Speaker C:We just go down the hall.
Speaker C:That's what we do.
Speaker C:Think and act, think, have critical thinking.
Speaker C:And we.
Speaker C:We respond really quick.
Speaker C:So there's a praise song.
Speaker C:It used to be In His Time that bothered me.
Speaker C:That's when my friends and I would sing and play guitar, and they would sing In His Time.
Speaker C:I'd add a little phrase sometimes, stat, because, you see, we don't have his timeline.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker C:But we can't not trust him.
Speaker C:We can't not trust him.
Speaker C:And if we lose our joy of our salvation because someone is making so many withdrawals from our peace, from our love, from Christ, trying to crush us, trying to hurt us, because that's all they know to do.
Speaker C:Trying to control us.
Speaker C:You sometimes have to walk away.
Speaker C:And I had to walk away from my mother.
Speaker C:I had to walk away.
Speaker C:It's not in my books.
Speaker C:No one knows this, but.
Speaker C:But you can know.
Speaker C:I went to see her.
Speaker C:I was going to a Christian writers conference, and I was staying with her.
Speaker C:And there was an ugly scenario that went on.
Speaker C:And I had prayed before I got there.
Speaker C:Lord Jesus, should I make Mom a little nicer?
Speaker C:In my book, you don't want to pray something and not expect him to answer.
Speaker C:And the answer was no, you don't have to fret about it.
Speaker C:But something came out of my mouth that I never thought I would ever say.
Speaker C:And I told her, mom, you're never going to see me again.
Speaker C:She's been so mean spirited to me for so long.
Speaker C:She has loved an atheist more than me for so long.
Speaker C:And I don't feel sad.
Speaker C:And that's what's weird.
Speaker C:People think it's wrong.
Speaker C:And they might judge me and say, donna, you are wrong.
Speaker C:You need to reconcile.
Speaker C:The peace of God that passes understanding is that exactly.
Speaker C:If you have someone who can rip you up, tear you apart, take away your joy, you sometimes have to be the one to walk away.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:And I feel sorry for her.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:I don't hate her because she's unable.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Your books, your books weave beautifully.
Speaker B:You know, God's interventions and both personal and professional experiences.
Speaker B:How have you seen God's hand at work in your own healing and the lives of those that you've cared for?
Speaker C:I think one of the greatest experiences I ever had.
Speaker C:Well, there were really two.
Speaker C:There were two.
Speaker C:But the one that really got me.
Speaker C:When you go to work or wherever you go, grocery store or whatever, what do you really want as a Christian?
Speaker C:You want people to notice Jesus in you.
Speaker C:And Mr.
Speaker C:R was a heart patient.
Speaker C:I was working the ICU.
Speaker C:It was many, many years ago.
Speaker C:And I took care of him for several days.
Speaker C:And he looked at me and said, hey, Donna, why are you so happy?
Speaker C:And I said, do you want an answer or do you want the truth?
Speaker C:Then he said, donna, I really prefer the truth.
Speaker C:And I said, okay.
Speaker C:So that gave me the ability to say, I'm a born again Christian and I truly believe that my heavenly Father loves me.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:And here's when you say, how do you really know God intervenes at work?
Speaker C:Or a year later, I transferred to same day surgery and I'm taking care first day on the job and taking care of this patient in the bed and her visitor.
Speaker C:And they're chatting and I'm doing my computering and assessment and I'm listening to their conversation.
Speaker C:And the one woman says to the other, do you know Mr.
Speaker C:R?
Speaker C:He had a heart attack last year.
Speaker C:Well, yeah, I know him.
Speaker C:And the woman says, you're not going to believe what happened to him.
Speaker C:He got out of that hospital last year and he became a born again Christian.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:And when you, when you want to know.
Speaker C:Wow.
Speaker C:And it happened again.
Speaker C:It happened again.
Speaker C:One of the worst scenarios and this is in.
Speaker C:I never Walked the halls alone.
Speaker C:I have a chapter called My Paul Harvey God in that book.
Speaker C:And I tell you about my soft spots.
Speaker C:And one night at work, I went from one room to another to another.
Speaker C:And I don't know if you've ever heard of shaken baby syndrome where a baby is shook so bad that they die because of that brain hitting the bony parts of your head.
Speaker C:And I went from one to another to another, three different scenarios where I am told about these babies that died.
Speaker C:And I go into a par where all the equipment is.
Speaker C:And I'm crying to God and I say, you know, Lord, I don't know how you expect me to get through this shift with all this heartache, because this is ripping me up.
Speaker C:It's ripping me up.
Speaker C:And I can't be crying and doing my job.
Speaker C:You gotta help me.
Speaker C:You know how hard this is for me.
Speaker C:Well, after that night, I thought, well, I've passed that exam from God.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker C:And because, you know, you just know that the Lord actually sees that.
Speaker C:And I believe he saves those babies immediately.
Speaker C:I believe that.
Speaker C:So then one night I get called to ER down in room seven.
Speaker C:And it is one of the hardest nights of my life.
Speaker C:I do a head to toe assessment of this sweet little baby.
Speaker C:And I can see that she's got bruises on her head.
Speaker C:And I can see that someone took her little legs in anger.
Speaker C:And there's bruises where these handprints were.
Speaker C:And it was just awful.
Speaker C:And when I got her IV done and I left that room, I had it out with God.
Speaker C:Police officers, sheriffs, everybody was saying what.
Speaker C:What needed to be done to the man that did this to her.
Speaker C:Well, I said, lord Jesus, I'm telling you right now, I know exactly what we need to do.
Speaker C:We need to get a machine, grab that guy by the legs and smack his head up against the wall.
Speaker C:And this is where God gets you.
Speaker C:That wee small voice.
Speaker C:Donna, I died for him too.
Speaker C:But he didn't leave it there.
Speaker C:I was working on my bachelor's degree.
Speaker C:I was doing a Saturday morning, unbelievable English class.
Speaker C:And Robert York said, you guys are, you know, it was everybody.
Speaker C:It wasn't just nurses, it was everybody.
Speaker C:Social work, health professional, whatever job you were doing.
Speaker C:It was an English composition course.
Speaker C:And as I'm walking to class, our professor always said, drop off your homework.
Speaker C:If you've got something you've got to do, it's okay.
Speaker C:So I'm walking to class, and here is one of the guys from my class, and he's got this real Sweet little girl in his arms.
Speaker C:And it's windy and she's got a yellow windbreaker.
Speaker C:And I'm pushing her little curls out of her face and under her hood.
Speaker C:And we get to talking and it's his granddaughter.
Speaker C:And we go into class.
Speaker C:And then the next week we're getting ready to hand in our composition papers.
Speaker C:Now here's the weird thing.
Speaker C:We had helped each other with every part of our paper.
Speaker C:And I never matched up with Bill, the guy with the baby.
Speaker C:And before we had it in our papers, I said to the professor, would it be okay if people wanted to read their final paper?
Speaker C:Would that be okay?
Speaker C:And he said, yeah.
Speaker C:Anybody?
Speaker C:Anybody want to read their paper?
Speaker C:And Bill goes, I'd love to.
Speaker C:So he goes out to the podium and he says, the name of my paper is why I'm a Christian.
Speaker C:I am a Christian.
Speaker C:If I were not a Christian, I'd be in prison for murder for the night that my son in law took my granddaughter by the legs, smacked her head against the wal all.
Speaker C:And that baby that I touched was a little girl from.
Speaker C:And I got the rest of the story.
Speaker C:And that's the kind of thing that God has done where he makes himself real.
Speaker C:But it.
Speaker C:I'm sure it's not just me.
Speaker C:I think we all have stories of God's unbelievable interventions.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:So years later, I get floated, and here's Amy J.
Speaker C:And I.
Speaker C:We get floated to the heart unit.
Speaker C:I'm in a discussion with Karen, another nurse, and I tell her about my book.
Speaker C:And she says, I'd love to read your book.
Speaker C:I said, okay.
Speaker C:Amy J.
Speaker C:Says, donna, I've worked with you for two years.
Speaker C:You never gave me a book.
Speaker C:I said, okay, Amy J.
Speaker C:I'll give you a book.
Speaker C:So I get her a book too.
Speaker C:Two weeks later, she is there in the break room saying, donna, that little girl in room seven, what's her name?
Speaker C:And this is years later, Pastor Bob.
Speaker C:Years later, she says, I have something to show you.
Speaker C:She pulls up her phone.
Speaker C:Here's a beautiful girl dressed in a red dress getting ready for prom.
Speaker C:And my friend Amy J.
Speaker C:Knows her mom and her grandma, and she is getting ready for prom and.
Speaker B:And again, Amen.
Speaker C:And she connected with her mom and grandma, who wrote me a text message thanking me for putting that story in my book.
Speaker C:And when Amy J.
Speaker C:Gave her the book, she said, this lady's real religious.
Speaker C:But you see, we don't know.
Speaker C:We don't know.
Speaker C:All we do now is that our holy heavenly Father, our desire in life put us where you need us help do whatever work you've got for us.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:How can someone get copies of your books?
Speaker B:You know, a life just like mine.
Speaker B:And I never walk the halls alone.
Speaker C:Yes, yes, you can get I never Walk the halls Alone.
Speaker C:If you sign up to my monthly newsletter, you can get it free as an ebook.
Speaker C:I do have paperback copies if you get on walkthehalls.com that I can send you.
Speaker C:I also made it an audiobook if you'd rather listen.
Speaker C:And that is on over 50 platforms and that's Walk the Hall.
Speaker C:If you want a life just like mine that you can get any brick and mortar store, libraries, my website, anywhere that you buy your books, whether it's thrift books, Amazon or whatever, Amazon is fine.
Speaker C:And if you please get it at Amazon, please give me a book review if you would, because I have 46 and if you have 50, they feel that there's interest in the book.
Speaker C:And if you want the course, I'll loss one common thread.
Speaker C:You are more than welcome to jump on Walk the Halls and you can purchase the course or purchase it for a new nursing student or someone you know struggling with loss.
Speaker C:It is a self directed course.
Speaker C:The other part, YouTube.
Speaker C:Dr.
Speaker C:Donna K.
Speaker C:I left all my videos public.
Speaker C:Don't feel you have to purchase a course if you struggle with loss.
Speaker C:And Dr.
Speaker C:I'm telling you, Pastor Bob, I know I just am such a storyteller.
Speaker B:That's fine.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:But this has been so interesting and, and I know there's someone out there listening to us right now that would love to get in touch with you, get more information.
Speaker B:You know, maybe someone like to get on an interview like this with you.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:So how, how's the best way of them getting in touch with you?
Speaker C: s stat notes S T A T N o t e s: Speaker B:All right, I got that.
Speaker B:And I'll be putting all that.
Speaker B:And Your website is walkthehalls.com Correct.
Speaker C:Walkthehalls.com and you can always Google Dr.
Speaker C:Don and Kinshalo and look out because I have done crazy things.
Speaker C:I have music videos for new nursing students and they're free and I have all kinds of recipes.
Speaker C:Matter of fact, you know you have an email subscription list and if you sign up and get the ebook and you don't want to be in email jail, I won't feel badly if you unsubscribe to the newsletter.
Speaker C:I only do a newsletter once a month.
Speaker C:But the funny thing is people are Getting on my newsletter and my blog.
Speaker C:And there's a lot of good blogs on there too, guys.
Speaker C:But I put recipes in there, so I have a friend who's making me a recipe book.
Speaker C:And it's gonna be recipe and blog.
Speaker C:We never stop, you know, you gotta keep going.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:You know that's right.
Speaker C:You're retired, right?
Speaker C:Retired.
Speaker C:I don't find it in the Bible, do you?
Speaker B:No, not at all.
Speaker B:I said, my.
Speaker B:My daughters, you know, they'll say, hey, can you do this?
Speaker B:No, I got this and this.
Speaker B:For a retired person, you sure are busy.
Speaker B:I tell my wife all the time.
Speaker B:I said, I don't know when I found time to work before because I got a lot of stuff going on.
Speaker C:And aren't you glad that I have a wonderful husband?
Speaker C:And you must have a good family as well.
Speaker C:And no matter what, we.
Speaker C:We really need to be thankful.
Speaker C:So if you want to pray again, that would be great.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Well, folks, first, if Dr.
Speaker B:Kinshlow's story and her insights have resonated with you, don't miss this chance to dive deeper into her work.
Speaker B:You gotta visit her website to connect and explore her resources.
Speaker B:Get in touch with her.
Speaker B:Gain valuable wisdom on healing and faith and caregiving as well.
Speaker B:Praise God.
Speaker B:I mean, her book, a Life just like mine.
Speaker B:It offers powerful encouragement, practical guidance.
Speaker B:Just grab your copy today, use the links down below.
Speaker B:Start your journey towards healing and transformation.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Dr.
Speaker B:Donna, I want to thank you again for taking the time out of your schedule to come on and join us today.
Speaker B:I do appreciate it so much.
Speaker C:It was a joy.
Speaker C:May the Lord touch the hearts and lives of those dear people that are within our listening reach.
Speaker C:Because there is nothing greater than knowing you are so loved.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Jesus is love completely, all the way through and through.
Speaker B:Even when they don't love him, he still loves them.
Speaker B:So Amen.
Speaker C:Saved every one of them.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Folks, that's all the time we have for today for Dr.
Speaker B:Donna Kinshlow and sell this passed about reminding you to be blessed in all that you do.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to today's episode of the Kingdom Crossroads podcast.
Speaker A:Please subscribe to our podcast so you can be notified when another episode is published.
Speaker A: interviews and: Speaker A:Please visit our website@www.podcastersforchrist.com.
Speaker A:that web address again is www.podcastersforchrist.com for more information.
Speaker A:Until next time.
Speaker A:Be blessed in all that you do.
