Episode 1638
A LIFE JUST LIKE MINE – Dr. Donna Kincheloe part 1
A LIFE JUST LIKE MINE
Dr. Donna Kincheloe part 1
Pastor Bob Thibodeau engages in a profound conversation with Dr. Donna Kincheloe, a retired registered nurse whose extensive experience encompasses both clinical practice and the transformative power of storytelling. The crux of their discussion revolves around the theme of healing from toxic relationships, particularly those marred by narcissistic abuse, and the essential role of faith in this journey. Dr. Kincheloe shares her own compelling narrative, illustrating how she has turned her personal struggles into a source of strength and inspiration for others, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's own "lost lifeline." This episode is laden with insights on how to navigate emotional pain and the spiritual dimensions of caregiving, as Dr. Kincheloe elucidates the methods she has found effective in fostering resilience and recovery. Their exchange serves as a reminder of the profound connection between healing, faith, and the stories that shape our lives.
Takeaways:
- Pastor Bob Thibodeau emphasizes the importance of storytelling in conveying personal experiences to foster healing and connection among listeners.
- Dr. Donna Kincheloe shares her extensive background in nursing, illustrating her dedication to compassionate care and lifelong learning through various degrees.
- The podcast highlights the significance of understanding emotional pain and the path to healing, especially for those entangled in narcissistic relationships.
- The concept of a 'lost lifeline' is introduced as a reflective tool for individuals to chart their experiences of loss and healing throughout their lives.
- Dr. Kincheloe discusses how faith and divine support became pivotal during her journey from trauma to recovery, providing hope to others facing similar struggles.
- The conversation underscores the necessity of self-reflection and understanding the limitations of others in order to foster personal healing and forgiveness.
CONTACT INFORMATION:
Email: Statnotes2005@yahoo.com
Email: drdonnakdnp@gmail.com
Website: https://www.walkthehalls.com
Book: ”A Life Just Like Mine: How God and Nursing Turned Past Pain into Present Peace” – on Amazon
Book: “I Never Walk the Halls Alone” – on Amazon
_____________________________________________
Check Out These Amazing Links
Pastor Bob "HIGHLY" recommends "Captivate.FM" as YOUR podcast host! They have a lot of very helpful features (and more all the time) - and NO CHARGE for the features or upgrades!
ModernIQs is a sponsor of the Kingdom Cross Roads Podcast Newsletter: Transform your creative workflow with ModernIQs! Explore AI-powered tools for content creation, from smart question generators to automated blog writers. Streamline and create with ease! Go to ModernIQs.com for more information!
Grow your faith and your business with The Faith-Based Business Newsletter! Get practical tips, biblical insights, and strategies for success. Subscribe at FaithBasedBiz.Substack.com and tune in to the podcast at FaithBasedBusinessPodcast.com!
Dive deep into biblical prophecy with Revelation Warning! Explore end-times insights, scriptural truths, and what they mean for today. Start your journey at RevelationWarning.com.
Ready to share your faith and grow your business? Join FaithCaster Academy! Learn to create impactful podcasts that amplify your message. Start today at FaithCasterAcademy.com!
Transcript
Welcome to the Kingdom Crossroads podcast with Pastor Bob Thibodeau.
Speaker A:Pastor Bob conducts personal interviews with Christian influencers from around the globe, helping Christian authors, recording artists, CEOs, entrepreneurs, non profit leaders, and yes, pastors and ministry leaders to get the word out about what they are doing to impact the world with the gospel.
Speaker A:Our podcast has been rated in the top 1/2% of all podcasts in the world by ListenNotes.com so you know your message will be heard.
Speaker A:Now, here is your host with today's interview, Pastor Bob Thibodeau.
Speaker B:Hello, everyone everywhere.
Speaker B:Pastor Bob Thibodeau here.
Speaker B:Welcome to the Kingdom Crossroads podcast.
Speaker B:Today.
Speaker B:We are so blessed that you're joining us.
Speaker B:Have you ever felt trapped in toxic relationships?
Speaker B:Questioning your worth?
Speaker B:Struggling to break free from the cycle of emotional pain?
Speaker B:Or maybe as a caregiver, you poured yourself into others while silently carrying your own burdens and wondering if anyone truly sees your struggles?
Speaker B:If you ever longed for healing and clarity and a deeper understanding of how God works through even the hardest moments, well, today's interview and conversation is for you.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Today's guest is a woman whose journey is as inspiring as it is transformative.
Speaker B:Dr.
Speaker B:Donna Kinschlow is a retired registered nurse who spent decades not only caring for her patients, but also equipping and encouraging others through her powerful storytelling and deep faith.
Speaker B: arning her nursing diploma in: Speaker B:Donna has dedicated her life to lifelong lifelong learning and compassionate care.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:As a peer reviewer for the Journal of Christian Nursing and an active contributor of various online communities, she brings wisdom and warmth and a wealth of experience.
Speaker B:She's the author of two books, A Life Just Like How God and Nursing Turn Past Pain into Present Peace and I Never Walk the Halls Alone.
Speaker B:And they are offer profound insights into overcoming narcissistic abuse and the spiritual side of nursing as well.
Speaker B:Whether she's teaching, writing, or speaking, Dr.
Speaker B:Donna's mission is clear, helping others turn pain into peace.
Speaker B:With all that being said, help me.
Speaker B:Welcome to the program Dr.
Speaker B:Donna Kinchelo.
Speaker B:Dr.
Speaker B:Kinchelo, it is such a blessing to have you with us today.
Speaker C:Well, Pastor Bob, the feeling is tremendously mutual.
Speaker C:We have the same heart.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Well, the first.
Speaker B:Go ahead.
Speaker C:There's such power in storytelling.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Jesus was a storyteller, so there you go.
Speaker B:Well, the first question I always start with is this.
Speaker B:Other than that brief information I just shared, can you tell us in your own words, who is Donna Kinchelo?
Speaker C:Donna Kinshlag is A follower of Jesus Christ.
Speaker C:And I love to share personal experience stories, like you said, to let broken people know the love and peace that Jesus Christ can give.
Speaker C:If you have a broken life and you fill that life up with the love of God, you're going to leak love.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:And so I believe that the life God gave me made me who I am.
Speaker C:And, and many people have a life very similar to mine.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Well, something I want to bring out here that, that I don't see very often.
Speaker B: You graduated: Speaker B: Then in: Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:I mean, congratulations on that.
Speaker B:But just for my own curiosity, because I'm not familiar with those terms, you're a doctor, but not a medical doctor.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Is that right?
Speaker C:Let me explain it to you.
Speaker C:So you understand, you can get a registered nurse degree by multiple ways.
Speaker C:And many years back you had a three year diploma program.
Speaker C:So I went and had a three year diploma program in Pennsylvania.
Speaker C:And then you can get a bachelor's degree in nursing, which is a four year program.
Speaker C:But in between those two, you can get an asn, which is.
Speaker C:It's in between.
Speaker C:What was the diploma?
Speaker C:Which.
Speaker C:The diploma.
Speaker C:Nurses.
Speaker C:And those schools have pretty much gone by the wayside, but you can get an ASN or an associate's degree in nursing and still sit for the same boards.
Speaker C:You can get a bachelor's in nursing, sit for the same boards.
Speaker C:I did the diploma, I did the bachelor's, and then I got my master's degree.
Speaker C:Now you can get a master's in nursing and be a nurse practitioner, and that is one track.
Speaker C:You can get a master's in nursing and take the education track, which is what I did, and then you can go back and get your doctor of Nursing practice.
Speaker C:So to help you understand what that is, if you were a PhD candidate, Pastor Bob, and you decided you were going to get your PhD, you would do research for probably 12 years of your life, and then you would write your article and you would generalize your research to the world.
Speaker C:When you have a Doctor of Nursing degree, it is the highest clinical nursing degree you can get, and you do a project.
Speaker C:So I essentially have gone to school all my life.
Speaker C:I have juggled school, work, Christian work, family, and school all my life.
Speaker C:But the Doctor of Nursing practice project I did was spiritual care.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:You can look on PubMed.
Speaker C:It is now available on PubMed.
Speaker C:And I did, because I've been a clinical nurse most of my Career, I have taught, but I have also done bedside nursing.
Speaker C:So your doctorate level is above nurse practitioner.
Speaker C:Nurse practitioners might get their doctorate and are really expected to today.
Speaker C:The more understanding you have from the governing bodies of nursing, the Institute of Medicine, they want you to gain as much education as you possibly can.
Speaker C:And you can just.
Speaker B:I mean, things in the medical field change.
Speaker B:God, every year something new is coming out and something else fell by the wayside.
Speaker B: going on what you learned in: Speaker C:But I will tell you, Pastor Bob, your diploma grads that worked for 44 years, we had an advantage because, you see, we were thrust into the clinical practice area.
Speaker C:We had so many hours on understanding and loving our patients and our families.
Speaker C:And so it is.
Speaker B:It's a calling.
Speaker B:It is a calling, that's for sure.
Speaker C:Passion.
Speaker C:It is a physical.
Speaker C:It is.
Speaker C:You learn more about the Lord Jesus from your patients and your friends and your families and your co workers than I can even tell you.
Speaker C:You see the love of God, you see miracles, you see prayers answered.
Speaker C:You don't have to go to a mission field, become a nurse or a health professional.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Well, your book, a life just like mine that offers an intimate look at overcoming narcissistic abuse.
Speaker B:And can you share a pivotal moment in your journey when you realized that healing was possible?
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:I look at a loss lifeline.
Speaker C:I made a course on loss.
Speaker C:It's called loss.
Speaker C:One common thread.
Speaker C:And when I look at my life, I call it the dirty Ds.
Speaker C:My parents divorced when I was 12.
Speaker C:I was displaced.
Speaker C:I was.
Speaker C:My sister and I five years younger, my little sis.
Speaker C:We were raised by my mothers parents and my mother was the narcissist in our family.
Speaker C:And then I got to nursing school and then I got married.
Speaker C:And what did I do?
Speaker C:I married a narcissist.
Speaker C:Why would you do that?
Speaker C:A narcissistic man who was a millionaire Son, because you do these things that you're familiar with.
Speaker C:And all through this time, when I looked back and said, is there something in my life where I can see the hand of God through all this pain?
Speaker C:And I will tell you one of the sweetest stories.
Speaker C:You see, my grandparents, they were mom's parents.
Speaker C:So they loved my mom and they hated my dad.
Speaker C:So daddy put it in the divorce decree because dad was the Christian that they would always go to church.
Speaker C:They would take us girls to church.
Speaker C:My grandparents didn't go to church.
Speaker C:So every time the church doors were open, we Were there Wednesday night Bible study, Sunday morning Sunday school and church.
Speaker C:And my grandma even got a red letter edition Bible.
Speaker C:And one night my grandfather said to my grandma, mom, how do you become a Christian?
Speaker C:And my grandmother led my grandfather in the sinner's prayer.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:And my granddaddy, who was nerve deaf from being a mechanic, joined the men's choir.
Speaker C:And he was singing.
Speaker C:And we redefined family.
Speaker C:I had women in my life at that old fashioned non denominational church, hearing hell and brimfire and get down to this altar.
Speaker C:And scriptures were ingrained in my soul.
Speaker C:Satan's waiting outside the door, seeking who may devour.
Speaker C:Well, he's not eating me.
Speaker C:Run down to that altar.
Speaker C:Because you see, I didn't really have an understanding about the love and the grace of the Lord.
Speaker C:I was afraid that the devil was going to get me.
Speaker C:And yet, as my life went on, I could be thankful for the heartaches and the losses and the disappointments.
Speaker C:I always wanted to be a ballerina.
Speaker C:I had to learn how to garden, how to can, how to.
Speaker C:I'm one of the best cooks and so is my sis.
Speaker C:So when you can take this lost lifeline, say, what have I learned, Lord?
Speaker C:What did you do with me through the losses I experienced?
Speaker C:You saved my granddad.
Speaker C:You saved my grandma.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:And when you're in the crucible, you don't see what he's doing.
Speaker C:And when that moment comes that you're able to see that there was a reason.
Speaker C:And sometimes as you do that lifeline, you realize, oh my goodness.
Speaker C:Grandma and granddad.
Speaker C:This is a beautiful picture.
Speaker C:My granddad became my dad.
Speaker C:He was there with every activity I ever had, every cheerleading, every game, everything.
Speaker C:He taught me how to drive.
Speaker C:And it wasn't until their 50th wedding anniversary, I went back home and I was working at Duke University Medical Center.
Speaker C:And I drove home and we're having this wonderful party.
Speaker C:And there's my grandfather.
Speaker C:He was one of 12.
Speaker C:And he's sitting sandwiched between my red headed great aunts, May and Della.
Speaker C:And they got to talking about growing up.
Speaker C:And I saw my grandfather do something I had never seen him do.
Speaker C:But once he began to cry.
Speaker C:And I'm thinking, what?
Speaker C:Why are you crying?
Speaker C:Grandpa says to them, I always felt like I wasn't wanted.
Speaker C:And I'm thinking, what are you talking about?
Speaker C:And Aunt May told me granddad was child number 11 when the 12th baby was born.
Speaker C:Grandpa and the brand new baby went to his grandparents and tried to get his mom to have Some rest, which I think was impossible with 10 other children.
Speaker C:But when they went to bring grandpa and the new baby home, his grandparents said to his mom, we've fallen in love with Mervyn.
Speaker C:Can we keep him?
Speaker C:And they let him go.
Speaker C:And I had no idea.
Speaker C:My granddad understood me better than anyone.
Speaker C:He was raised by his grandparents away from the other 11.
Speaker C:And you have any idea what that did for me?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:God's raised by my grandparents as well.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:Really?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker C:He had a life just like mine.
Speaker C:Look at what we learned.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I don't have my PhD.
Speaker B:I just got my Master's, so it's.
Speaker C:Okay, it's just Alphabet.
Speaker B:You mentioned something though, I want to zero in on a little bit.
Speaker B:You talk about examining your lost lifeline as an important part of the healing process.
Speaker B:Explain what that means and how someone who's who suffered from a narcissistic relationship can begin that type of self reflection.
Speaker C:I created a course, Im a guest lecturer for Brand new nurses.
Speaker C:I got a call from the professor who said, donna, would you teach spiritual care and loss and grief and dying?
Speaker C:And I told the professor, well, what do you want?
Speaker C:She said, I want a webinar.
Speaker C:I said, no, I'll tell you what I'd like here.
Speaker C:If you really want me to do this, I'll be a guest lecturer.
Speaker C:I want to make a YouTube on loss and grief and dying and spiritual care.
Speaker C:You have the students watch it and then you have them give me question and then I want to meet them.
Speaker C:And I'm embedded in this course.
Speaker C:So I created a self directed course called Loss One common thread.
Speaker C:It's applicable to anyone.
Speaker C:And one of the references I use, this gentleman talks about this life loss lifeline.
Speaker C:The saddest thing about loss, it's a guarantee in life.
Speaker C:Yeah, we get busy and we don't realize that loss is a guarantee.
Speaker C:You get more education learning how to drive a car than you do on how to deal with loss.
Speaker C:So on my loss lifeline, which I'm 67 years old, so it's a lot longer than any students, you could put when your dog died, you can put when your parents divorced, you can put your own divorce, you can look at your.
Speaker C:And I have a graphic.
Speaker C:In that self directed course, I've got two that you can use whichever one you want.
Speaker C:But the greatest thing to do is when you've plotted it out, you ask yourself, how did I cope with this or did I?
Speaker C:Because some people stuff it and they don't face it.
Speaker C:And they don't realize that loss is something that the more we are aware, the more we can prepare.
Speaker C:Because it's going to be in your life, whether it's the.
Speaker C:The death of your dad and your granddad in a month, which happened to me, it's going to happen.
Speaker C:Your mother may be narcissistic, but when you do your lost lifeline, you even look at her loss, what happened to her, and you begin to have an understanding.
Speaker C:And once I believe it's so important.
Speaker C:Once we have an understanding, and especially of narcissistic relationships, if you look at it, Pastor Bob, I just did a series of narcissistic relationships with a precious woman named Faith in Nigeria.
Speaker C:And when you look at God's perspective of narcissism, you have to remember the cherub angel, Lucifer.
Speaker C:What did that guy do?
Speaker C:He was created by God.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:And he thought, I am more important.
Speaker C:I am more beautiful.
Speaker C:I am proud.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I can run this better than God.
Speaker C:And the Lord God did not do anything.
Speaker C:But you're out of here, because I am God and there is no other.
Speaker C:And when you have an understanding that it is that God who loves you, and when you look at the perspective that we get from the Lord and from Jesus.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:You know, faith is a central theme in your book.
Speaker B:How did your relationship with God shift as you moved from the place of hurting to healing?
Speaker B:What scriptures or moments in prayer helped guide you with that?
Speaker C:My mother left us all, and she had an affair with her best friend's husband, who was atheist.
Speaker C:She didn't choose us kids.
Speaker C:She chose her lover.
Speaker C:So when you say what scripture touches your heart, the Lord Jesus said directly to me, donna, I chose you.
Speaker C:You didn't choose me.
Speaker C:I chose you.
Speaker C:So when anybody is abandoned for whatever reason, the other piece is this.
Speaker C:The Lord Jesus says, I will never leave you.
Speaker C:I will never forsake you.
Speaker C:He says, call upon me in times of trouble.
Speaker C:I will rescue you.
Speaker C:I will be there no matter what.
Speaker C:He became my rock, and he provided people to give me what I lacked.
Speaker C:There were grandma's friends when I was growing up that had no children.
Speaker C:One was Valley.
Speaker C:She had no children, but she had the mothering gene.
Speaker C:Some people have a mothering gene, and they love you and mother you.
Speaker C:And when you stop and realize the truth about narcissism that people really have to understand is people aren't able.
Speaker C:My mother never apologizes.
Speaker C:My mother isn't able.
Speaker C:They are not able.
Speaker C:I worked at Duke in a paraplegic unit.
Speaker C:There's nothing greater than thinking that, oh, gee, this man needs to walk.
Speaker C:This man needs to be able.
Speaker C:He is unable.
Speaker C:It is just as unrealistic to think a paraplegic person could walk as it is unrealistic to think that someone can be compassionate and caring to you when they aren't able.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Because they aren't.
Speaker C:And that's the freedom.
Speaker C:When you understand where they come from, what the origins are, where this all focused, and a lot of it is in that understanding, you're able to forgive.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker C:The things they cannot do.
Speaker B:The biggest thing.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Hey, folks, Pastor Bob here.
Speaker B:Well at time for today's portion of this great interview with Donna Kinsholo, and we're only halfway through the conversation.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:You're gonna want to come back and pick up the dust the rest of this conversation in the very next episode.
Speaker B:But, folks, I'm telling you, I've talked with people and dealt with people that suffer from ptsd, and it is something that accumulates.
Speaker B:Okay, yes, some people react just in one instance.
Speaker B:But folks dealing with stress, you know, as a cop, I was in the military, and as a cop, you know that stress of the same thing day after day after day, life and death situations, that stuff builds up, and it is real.
Speaker B:And Donna being on the front line in the nursing and core like that, I mean, she has experienced it.
Speaker B:She's seen people do it.
Speaker B:She's researched this stuff.
Speaker B:And folks, I'm telling you, yeah, this is.
Speaker B:This is some great information you need.
Speaker B:You need to come back for the very next episode.
Speaker B:All right, Drop down the show notes, get in touch with Donna, order her book, A life just like mine.
Speaker B:Until next time, it's Pastor Bob Ryan.
Speaker B:Be blessed in all that you do.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to today's episode of the King Kingdom Crossroads podcast.
Speaker A:Please subscribe to our podcast so you can be notified when another episode is published.
Speaker A: interviews and: Speaker A:that web address again is www.podcastersforchrist.Com.
Speaker A:for more information, until next time, be blessed in all that you do.
